THOUGHTS ON BECOMING A
MOTHER
There
are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience
or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I
will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or
that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this
child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I
have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life,
the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain
their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take
time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this
miracle everyday for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in
the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort,
hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop
another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream
will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has
given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child
that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give
birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a
better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister
because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed
by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet
given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded.
I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from
their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and
join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it
better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of
another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to
accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard, I have learned a
compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to
appreciate life. Yes I will be a better mother.
AUTHOR
UNKNOWN
