School!

Yep, I said it... school!  Parker started preschool last week.  I can't believe my baby is old enough to be going to school.  Okay, it's only 2 1/2 hours twice a week, but still.  He isn't too sure about it yet, he is having a hard time when I drop him off but the teacher said he is getting better.  The first day I was ready to tell him that he never had to go back.  Poor thing looked so stunned and had the saddest look on his sweet face, he wouldn't even look at me.  He was still fighting me, stalling and crying yesterday but at least he is happy to see me when I pick him up.  I know it will get better and he is going to love going, it's just a rough start. 

August 18, 2011

Today Ethan and I celebrate 10 years of marriage.  Today we all celebrate our 2nd Family Day!  Today is a good day.

summer

Yes I'm going to say it... it's HOT!  Okay, now that that's said I can move on to more important things.  It's summer and I thought I would share some pictures of what we've been up to so far.  It really hasn't been anything other than hanging out at the house and getting together with friends occasionally, but that's just fine with us.  We have started potty training... slow going but going pretty good so far.  Parker also started swimming lessons with daddy.  That's not going so good, yet.  It will get better, they've only gone twice. Pretty soon we'll be getting Parker ready to start preschool, but I don't want to think too much about that yet.

If you are looking for an update on #2... we don't have one.  Things are still moving slow as far as referrals and everything else as far as the Korea program goes but we are okay with that right now.  It just gives us more time to focus on Parker.

There are a bunch more pictures on the picture page!  Check them out.

on the pier with dad

Sweet 16!

Happy Sweet 16 Stella Monster!

a "re-post"

I was going to put up a new post, but as I was typing it reminded me of another that I had written while we were waiting for Parker.  It is just as appropriate now as it was then so I will "re-post" that one.


control

When in our lives do we lose control? I feel as if I never have really had it. I’ve never been in control of my fertility, and as soon as we sought out help, all control was turned over to complete strangers. The fate of my future was in the hands of someone else. I thought, for some stupid reason, that things would be different with the adoption. I was warned by our social worker, and several other people, that we shouldn’t expect to have any control. I didn’t listen.


The past few months have actually gone by pretty fast. I’ve been able to keep somewhat busy with knitting the blankets, looking & applying for grants and trying to come up with fundraisers. All of a sudden, things changed, or should I say stopped. I’m back to feeling like I have no control over any of this, which I really don’t, and it’s very difficult to handle. It’s been a rush of emotions, sleepless nights, and feeling hopeless at times. I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but as I’ve said before, there are times when it is very dim. This is one of those times.

worry...

It is so different this time, but still the same. Waiting with Parker I was so anxious about becoming a mother for the first time; do I have everything I need, what am I forgetting, will I do things right, how will I know? The list goes on. I’m sure it’s similar for any new mother, but I was going to be a new mother of an almost 20 lb 9 month old baby! I had so many worries.


The waiting for #2 has got me thinking now if I am doing the right thing. Should we be adopting another child? Is it fair to Parker? Did we do the right thing adopting in the first place? Yes, I am a huge worrier! I doubt myself and some decisions I’ve made during the wait this time. I have been over thinking EVERYTHING. I am reading way too much on adoption, and specifically international adoption. Okay, I know I can’t read too much but I feel like I may take it a little too seriously at times.

I recently read an article about diversity in schools. I know Parker isn’t in school… yet. He will be starting preschool in the fall and what started out as worrying about Parker not being potty trained and having the best social skills has become worrying if he will be the only Asian child in his class. I’m not just worrying about preschool; I’m worrying about his entire school career. We do live in a neighborhood that happens to have several adoptive families. Some of whom have adopted from Korea , some China and one soon to be Ethiopia, but all of these adopted children are older than Parker and won’t be in school the same time.

You may be thinking, those are some of the things I worry about, what’s the difference? That’s what I used to think. I am a mother, I have a son and that’s it. Well, God willing that will be it but the fact is that I have to consider so many other things. I am an adoptive parent. We are a multi cultural, transracial family. Whether I like it or not, Parker will be treated different. He may get teased, made fun of, teachers or others may stereotype him. We took all the required classes to help prepare, I am reading the books, doing research on my own.  But I still worry.

I also worry that I am depriving my son of time with me. When I’m not working (full time), I am home cleaning or lately working on the dolls to sell as a fundraising project. We don’t have any paperwork for #2 right now but there are a few things we need to get done in the next few months. Then, once the referral does come, so will more paperwork, then more worrying for me. I worry that we won’t have the money when we need it; I worry about traveling to Korea . I worry about Parker, should we bring him with us to Korea and if we do, how will that affect him and #2. Will it be a good thing? I worry what will happen if we don’t take him. Will he resent us? How can we not take him to his birth country? It will probably be the only time we would all be in Korea together.

When it comes down to it, I worry and I over think, but I would not change a thing!

Spring?

It may not feel like it, but Spring is here so it’s time for an update on us. We have been doing some brainstorming for fundraising ideas. While I don’t want to give anything away, I will just say that it’s going to be better than last year. Last year we held a golf scramble, okay threw together, but it went okay for our first time doing something like that. Unfortunately we weren’t able to make it worth our time to have one again this year. We have not totally ruled out having another one, just not this year. I do hope to have the details nailed down for this year’s event soon so I can reveal what it is going to be.

In the meantime, I have started a new project. I am making fleece dolls to sell to raise funds for the adoption! I am having a blast with them and am so excited. I don’t have any pictures available yet but will post some as soon as I can. I am also still making the baby blankets upon request. Those are a little more time consuming and to be honest, I don’t have as much time as I used to with chasing after a 2 ½ year old! If you are interested in a blanket, order early. Time is running approximately 4-6 weeks.

Now onto what else has been going on. Parker is doing great. He is such an awesome little boy that amazes us every day. It’s hard to believe he’s been home with us for almost 2 years. We are currently waiting on our I600-A approval and fingerprinting notice. We also have some training to complete and wait. It’s all about waiting at this point. You’d think it wouldn’t be as bad the second time around, most days are okay but there are days when I become a little obsessed with checking chat boards and such.

Keep checking for updates and information about the next fundraising event!

April 14th

Happy 40th Birthday to my wonderful husband.  Hard to believe 2 years ago today we got the best phone call in the world that changed our lives forever.  I could hardly wait to call you to tell you we have a son.  It seems like it just happened, still so fresh in my mind.  I know I will never be able to top that birthday present, so I will just say Happy Birthday.  Still happy.

And... "Happy B" from Parker! 

We love you!

off to a late start...

okay, so I'm a month behind for my 2011 Happy New Year post.  It's been busy around here lately, chasing after a 2 year old for starters.  I won't bore with any of the other day to day stuff.

Parker has been home for 18 months now, hard to believe.  Hank has been with us for a year, not hard to believe.  The two of them are, well lets just say trouble.  Parker is a little bit if an instigator but they sure do love each other.  Stella really doesn't want much to do with either one of them.  She is much happier laying on the couch with a blanket, I don't blame her. 

Also this month I hit the big 4-0!  It came and went without any big hoopla, which I am very happy about.  It's over, let's get on with everything else now.  I think the only thing that has bothered me is the fact that I am a 40 year old mother of a two year old and by the time we bring #2 home... I don't want to think about that one quite yet.  I'm just looking forward to Ethan joining me soon. 

As far as #2 goes.  Nothing to report.  We are waiting and that's all we'll be doing for quite awhile now.  We've hit the 5 month point already and it sure doesn't seem like it's been that long this time around.  I guess chasing Parker keeps my mind off of it all.  We have training that we will have to complete and some forms to file, but other than that it's the waiting game.