When I was a kid I couldn’t wait for anything. I couldn’t wait for Christmas, my birthday, summer vacation and so on. I wanted time to go super fast. As I got a little older, it didn’t seem as important and I could wait. In school I wanted time to drag out so I wouldn’t have to go to that dreaded next class or take that awful test. As a young adult, time started going by way too fast. The weekends, vacations, time spent with friends just flew by. While waiting for a referral the first time around, time was sort of a blur. Most days seemed way too long. Now I’m at a totally new place, an uncertain place and a not so happy place. I am caught in a place where I want time to stand still so I can be with Parker as much as possible. I want him to stop growing up so fast. I want him to be a baby again so I can hold him like I did such a short time ago. I also want time to go faster each day. Waiting for a referral this time, the days, weeks and months can’t go fast enough. By around 10:00am, I figure I’m not getting a phone call telling me I have a baby, so I’m ready for the day to be over. It’s the same by Wednesday and around the middle of the month. Last year was pretty much a blur because I wanted time to hurry up. I already want January to be over so we can move on to a new month and hopefully a referral.
