If Parker comes home today, it will take approximately 8 weeks for him to bond with us. According to some experts on adoption it takes one week to bond for every month a child has been alive. Contrary to what some people may think, the hard part of this adoption is not just the waiting...that is just the beginning. After Parker is home, there is going to be a whole new and different set of ‘issues’ for us to deal with. I think the bonding is going to be the biggest of the issues, but there is also the possibility of his grieving the loss of his foster family, and of course the 13 hour time difference. I’m not saying that any of this will happen; it’s just a possibility. Some families are fortunate and are able to bond very quickly and have minimal issues. People that become parents through birth have bonding from the very beginning with the mother bonding for 9 months prior to birth, then bonding through breastfeeding and so on. With Parker, we don’t have the 9 months before birth to bond, and we haven’t had the 8 months to bond for the 8 months he’s been alive; he has bonded with his foster family. Don’t get me wrong, I admire the people that become foster families. I’m sure it is just as hard on them when they hand over that baby to their forever family; I know I couldn’t do it. It takes a very special person to raise a baby for 8+ months, watching that baby grow and learn then having to say good bye.
So, basically I’m praying that Parker is home soon, as 8 weeks is already too long.
1 comment:
Jami - I have a friend who adopted an infant from Taiwan. The bonding happened very quickly for them. I know it isn't easy all the time, but there is hope for a smooth and quick transition. They later adopted a five year old orphan from Taiwan as well...and that is more difficult, but it has still gone well. I pray that it all goes well when you get your little boy home. I know that time can't come soon enough! Hang in there. - Megs
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